Life is but a dream

The entire fabrication of your life experience, seen through the mind and experienced through the five senses of the body is nothing more a figment of your imagination. You imagine yourself into existence, as well as imagining everyone and everything else that you perceive to be. It is in this knowing where you can utilize your power of imagination to create a dream reality which elevates your highest potentials.

As you are embodied in a borrowed, temporary vehicle of Nature you can enjoy your experience in this relative material existence knowing that a moment will come when you will return your body back to Nature. This inherent Truth can either be a catalyst for you to truly embrace all that arises in your dream or you can live a life filled with fear, apprehension and doubt and indeed the end result will not change because you made an agreement when you manifested yourself from formlessness into form. We all made this agreement and the sooner you accept this Truth, the sooner you can really start living your life as you imagine yourself to be.

The body has its various limitations based upon the confines of Natures design and the means through which it communicates with the environment. Your body is your responsibility to care and to provide for with the resources that Nature has bestowed from the environment. The basics are food, shelter and clothing, through the foundation of these three resources you can build and design your own creations, such as nourishment in food, housing in shelter and garments in clothing. Knowing that your experience is temporary, the accumulation of these material resources are yours to enjoy only as long as you are embodied. Any attachment or identification to these material resources will inevitably result in suffering. While the basics in their core state are fundamental for the survival existence of your body, the egoic need to accumulate more than what you need is not.

The mind has its various limitations based upon the conditioning through which you have experienced from a baby into your current position. This conditioning shapes the biological nature of the brain but it also shapes the narrative structure through which you imagine yourself to be. For example, if you were conditioned to be indoctrinated with a religious system, then the consequence is that you will see yourself through this indoctrination and thus you will see the world through this indoctrination as well. As you have not given consent to being indoctrinated either with religious, social or cultural programming, despite this violent imposition you do possess the power to de-program yourself. This is a challenging endeavour but your conviction in de-programming yourself from the conditioned indoctrination of your mind will be an advantage in creating your dream reality as you imagine, not as your conditioning tells you to imagine.

The foundation of your mind, the conditioning through which you have learned about yourself is necessary for you to function on the level that you want to interact with society and others. It is important to know that you can change the identification to your conditioning but you cannot change the foundation that enables your identity as far as how you perceive yourself to be. This base conditioning is necessary to sustain your identity as long as your mind is capable of cognition. If you change the entirety of your conditioned mind, then you won’t exist anymore as you. The body and mind function within the identity that you perceive yourself to be based upon the accumulations of your life experiences, if the base conditioning and the acquired experiences that sustain your identity are not there anymore then neither will you be.

Putting these two variables together, integrating the relative nature of the body and the intellectual constructs of the mind this will allow you to re-design yourself and the reality that you choose to experience. Utilizing your strengths in the uniqueness of your expression and understanding your weaknesses will be a great benefit in manifesting your dreams into your reality. The only limit beyond the relative boundaries are determined only by you. If you have a big appetite and you like to bite off more than you can chew than take it all. If you have a small appetite and prefer to stay in your comfort zone, then heed forth with necessary caution.

“The only limit beyond the relative boundaries are determined only by you. If you have a big appetite and you like to bite off more than you can chew than take it all. If you have a small appetite and prefer to stay in your comfort zone, then heed forth with necessary caution.”

In my experience I was programmed with an indoctrination of Christianity. The perspective through which I viewed myself the world around me was that of a conditioned Christian. Seeing everything as a sin, as people as sinners and casting judgments upon everyone was an integral feature within my life. Knowing nothing else other than this indoctrination I was forced to continually feed this ignorance until I became an adult and I made the choice to de-program myself. This choice came at a great cost because I would lost the identity that I thought that I was, but the conviction of my choice came in the realization that this identity was false.

If I wasn’t this false identity, then who am I? And the search for the answer to this question is what started the quest to disentangle and disassociate from everything that I was conditioned to believe was true. With a devout intention to free myself from all limitations imposed I unraveled every web of deceit and corruption. Eradicating all that was false, the truth of who I am gradually became revealed. Layers upon layers of fabricated misconceptions were all destroyed, one by one until I got down to the point where there was nothing left to be acknowledge or destroyed.

It was in the light of this darkness that I came to see myself as I truly am. Beyond the illusory projections and manipulated conditioning, I could not only see who I was, but who I could become. In this recognition of raw beauty and immaculate glory, I recreated myself in the image of my boundless imagination. Absent of all self-created suffering, doubt and insecurities I forged ahead with nothing holding me back. What was going to happen, I did not know but I didn’t have to know because with every step taken, everything I was to know was revealed. And so it is, I started to create my life as I imagined myself to be.

The indirect consequence of this realization was that I started to attract many other beings from all around the world who shared the same desire to free themselves just as I have freed myself. What I am in power, you are also in equal measure. For it is in this reflection that we can see each other as one. This is the Invitation to living life awakened, will you accept it? ~ ༺ 𝓖

Manifesting 102

The ability to transmute thoughts into actions, this is driven by the inexhaustible force of desire which becomes the foundation of this material plane of existence, this is the attribute of manifesting.

For the first rule of manifesting, you must know what you want and what you don’t want. This clarity is imperative in discerning what specific thoughts are to be created and what specific actions are to be taken. The only way you can know what you want and what you don’t want is to acquire exposure through experiences. The more experiences you have the better and the more freedom that you give yourself to experience the better. Most people limit themselves due to a multitude of reasons including their conditioned mind, religious identifications, and/or their own fears. These limitations will not be beneficial in the least and they must be confronted as they arise. These limitations may give you an illusory feeling of comfort and sense of security but they will be not help you in having the necessary freedom to acquire new experiences.

Everyone is unique in the both the quantity and the quality of the experiences they need in order to possess the clarity necessary to know what they want and what they don’t want. Naturally it is assumed that an older being who has experienced more in their lifetime in converse to that of a younger being would have greater clarity but that isn’t always the case. In fact this generation of younger beings have the benefit of advanced technology and the convenient availability to countless resources. Due to these variables and others, the younger beings have given themselves the freedom to explore more than their parents and elders of generations past. This has allowed the younger generations to have a greater sense of clarity and a stronger knowledge of self, which can result in the potential to manifest much greater than our ancestors have.

With every experience comes a lesson, one that either confirms what you like or one that confirms what you don’t like. By pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone you can access new realms of exploration. How far you push is entirely up to you, your courage and the appetite to which you can integrate your experiences. Accumulating experiences is one part of the process while the other part of the process is integrating these experiences, otherwise you can get caught in the circular trap of repeating experiences for which you haven’t learned the lesson yet because you haven’t integrated the knowledge acquired.

The process of integration is based upon the individual and the ability to comprehend the events that have taken place. You have the option to take the appropriate time to integrate your experiences, dependent on the intensity through which they have arisen but it is not advantageous to take too long for new experiences are always arising. It is notable to remember that you can’t get time back when its gone. The speed and the ability through which you can both acquire experiences and integrate them will make you stronger and more powerful in your manifesting powers. The greatest manifestors are able to experience and integrate simultaneously. This can be challenging to learn but when you are able to access your powers at will rather than waiting to integrate and then access them, it makes a remarkable difference.

As cliché as the saying goes “Whatever doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger.” There is truth in these words. Many times we can be faced with great difficulties in our life experiences, some of which may seem to have absolutely no solution but as you continue to acquire experiences you will see that indeed every experience has its own resolve. Whether or not your mind will accept or reject the experiences and/or their resolve that is dependent only by you. Much of what we experience cannot be comprehended by the mind but that does not stop us from learning and integrating the experience. Some lessons can be learned immediately while others may be combined with experiences that are yet to be acquired.

“With every seed you plant, it will grow into fruits of abundance, to be harvested and shared. You will no longer just exist to survive, but indeed you will fulfill your destiny and thrive.”

As I started my spiritual path, I learned early on about the great potential to manifest. It was disturbing to not only accept the fact that I was living a life that I didn’t want to live but to also accept the fact that I was continuously creating this life. When I was confronted with this truth that I was creating my own suffering, I made a vow to stop it immediately. The consequence was not only in accepting this truth but in taking the actions to change it. With an objective perspective I observed everything about the nature of my mind and the manner it which I was functioning. From the innumerable thoughts that arose spontaneously to the repercussions of my actions precipitated by these thoughts. When I was able to see the hindrance of my patterns, the ones which were creating self-created suffering, I acknowledged them and changed them to become an asset to elevate and support my path.

Living an environment that did not enable my intentions was condemning in every respect. There is a level of compromise for everyone, a rock bottom that only you can know how far it truly goes and I had reached mine. To the depths of my own darkness I went as far as I could go until I could go no further. I came to a point in my existence where I was either going to transcend my limitations or perish in the confines of my own demise. I choose to live but no longer at the sacrifice of being nothing more than a commodity to perpetuate a system that is solely designed to maintain itself at any cost.

And so it is, I gave myself the freedom to deny myself nothing and to give myself everything. Venturing out into the world, absent of any compass I embarked on a journey that gave me every experience I could ever imagine and more. In the accumulation of these experiences I advanced to levels that I never knew existed. Refining every movement with calculated measure and celebrating the essence of uncertainty, I became steadfast and articulate within my intuition which gave me the ability to manifest my dreams and desires into my reality.

Through the accumulation of your experiences and the integrations of lessons learned you will rise higher and higher in your manifesting power to heights unknown. As you grow and expand, your intuition will be your guidance telling you where to go and what you should do. Listen to your intuition attentively. With every seed you plant, it will grow into fruits of abundance, to be harvested and shared. You will no longer just exist to survive, but indeed you will fulfill your destiny and thrive. This is the Invitation to living life awakened. ~ ༺ 𝓖

The Courage to Be

What happens when you discover that the only limitation stopping you from realizing your True Nature is you?

While there are many attributes and their collective integration that can be advantageous on the path in fulfilling your destiny. There is one single inherent attribute that is the most important of them all, on the path of the devout seeker, that attribute is of courage. Absent of the embodiment and integration of courage, the seeker will not have the necessary strength and power to not only transcend the obstructions that may inevitably appear on their path and nor will they possess the conviction to be consistent amidst any apparent lack of progress. The acknowledgement of our darker aspect, the shadow self of what we are, this confrontation alone is enough to deter many seekers from even starting their path.

There is a bliss to being ignorant that is only true if you enjoy and embrace your suffering. If you are truly honest with yourself, you will accept the fact that you do not enjoy suffering because if you did, you would not be looking for a way out of it. Suffering is the necessary catalyst in all aspects of realizing ones True Nature. Whether it comes about spontaneously, such as a mental breakdown that shatters all distortions of separation or whether it comes as a direct consequence to a spiritual path garnered towards awakening, the final result is always the same. The bliss of Being is one that supersedes all notions of being in the bliss of ignorance, but this truth is shared only in the convention of words. The experience of the seeker realizing that they were only seeking themself, just as they are, this is the bliss of Being. As contradictory as it may appear to be, once you know that there is nothing to be known, then you know, but even that falls short in describing the Truth for there is no other way to describe it, as words cannot touch it.

For the beginning seekers this is the raw and direct introduction to what you are truly seeking. As there is an initial trigger that sets about the first few steps of the search for oneself, the following steps thereafter will be taken with just as much fervour if not more. You cannot force someone to be courageous, either you are or you aren’t. If you want the Truth more than anything, then indeed nothing can stop you. There is no boundary that you cannot trespass, there is no obstruction that you cannot destroy, this is the mindset that will lead you to wherever you are destined to watch yourself go. All paths lead to within. Any external path or offered pointers such as this text only serve as a means to support the outward seeking as a transition to the inward seeking.

In the absence of fear, the counterpart of courageousness disappears. When the moment comes, as it is here and now, the seeker will also disappear into the counterpart of seeking. Who has the courage to disappear? Who has the courage to accept that they are nothing or even everything, or neither nothing or even neither everything? Who has the courage to see that all projected meanings and purposes in life apart from the necessities of the physical body are absolutely and without a doubt completely unnecessary? Who has the courage to see that being is simple and that complications only arise when you try to become something other than what you are? The only question left to ask is, do you have this courage?

“By the Grace of the impersonal, absolute Reality, those seeking liberation are inspired above all with the disposition to non-duality, which relieves them of the great fear.” AG 1.1

After a severe bout of depression that I was able to transcend I eventually came to the conclusion that I was exhausted with acquiring material possessions, desperately trying to achieve a respectable social status and the agreeable respect of society and my peers. It seemed as though the only justification to continue this pathological behaviour was to satisfy these needs. When I came to the crossroads to leave my material pursuits for a spiritual one, I had to muster the courage to extinguish myself, to return back to dust and ashes in the hope of becoming something more than what I was and what I was experiencing as my reality. There had to be something more than this, better than this, but what was it and where was it at? And thus the match was struck and the fire rose higher and higher, as the conflagration I became.

The Truth didn’t come knocking on my door just to tell me that I should leave everything and come find it. I made a conscious choice and in this choice I was willing to go to whatever extremes that I must. In the infancy of my seeking I was aware that destruction is also an action of creation. While most of my life I would shy away from the act of destroying as I was conditioned to believe that destruction is misconstrued as being something negative. I had to accept this fact, although it was a hard pill to swallow, if I was to pursue my intention to awakening, I would become destroyed in the process. What I imagined myself to be would be no longer. The courageous to accept this change was far greater than submitting to the fear of staying unchanged.

Some seekers are able to transcend their own limitations very quickly and others may be on a path, circular in many aspects, seeking for many years lost without guidance and no success in sight. Each path is unique to each seeker, you cannot walk mine and I cannot walk yours. You must walk alone. The fear of being alone must also be confronted and the courage to do so lies in the fact that you are always alone, despite whatever external surroundings you imagine yourself to exist within. I am here to support and encourage your path but I cannot and I will not carry you. You have the same courage as I do, for you are my reflection as I am yours. This is the Invitation, do you have the courage to accept it? ~ ༺ 𝓖

The Invitation

On my quest for liberation as I was searching for something more than what I had imagined myself to be, I came to the shocking and destructive realization that there is no permanence in anything.

My endeavour to attain a permanent state of happiness and perpetual bliss only ceased to interrupt the natural functioning of my body. The conviction of my search was only succeeded by overlooking the sensitivity and intelligence of the nervous system. By forcing myself and my body to seek this “higher state” of Consciousness, I found that I was merely adding momentum to the false continuity of wanting something that does not exist. As I discovered through this unveiling I could understand that the body wasn’t interested in a rapturous liberation but on the contraire the body was only interested in its most basic functions, that of survival and procreation.

The intention to stop my chronic pain and replace it with inexhaustible pleasure was a futile attempt on my part. While in the mode of inquiry I couldn’t accept the inherent truth that the body’s response to pain and pleasure is the same. It is only in the conditioned interpretation of my mind that I created the difference from one to the other and this in itself goes against Natures design. Rather than imposing radical shifts in my mind and conversely in my body I could see now that the natural state wasn’t a mere mental speculation but actually the acceptance of my bodies desire to continue functioning as it is. While I had a series of blissful experiences during my spiritual practice the various vibrations affected the body, but again it was all in my interpretation that deemed the experiences to be good and bad. I was entirely left alone in the confines of my own thoughts. It was only when I removed the need to constantly translate my bodies sensory activity, I could now see that I had no way of knowing if something was indeed good or bad.

The body has its own intelligence, it is an extraordinary vehicle that functions autonomously without any external volition, apart from maintaining the health of the body and feeding it for sustenance. The ignorant need to replace one sensation for another was interfering with the natural functioning of the body. Through objective observation when a sensation is felt in the body, it is labeled in the mind. Then after this recognition is given, as pain or pleasure the mind reacts in a manner of either ceasing the pain or prolonging the pleasure. By trying to forcibly control my body in either direction I was going against the natural flow of this biological mechanism. In actuality, I was destroying the sensitivity of the body through constant repetition of seeking what I have wanted versus what the body wanted.

In this conflict, the revelation came that if I ceased to interfere with the body’s functioning, then all that is felt coming and going will inevitably dissolve into itself absent of my conditioned intentions. While the thought process is necessary to exist in this material world, the need to forcibly impose my body or mind to function in any way other than how it is designed to function is ignorance and suffering on my behalf.

“Know that all living beings are manifested by these two energies of mine. I am the source of the entire creation, and into me it again dissolves.” BG 7.6

On the most fundamental level the body isn’t interested in enlightenment or becoming immortal, these are just plays of the mind. The body is only interested in its survival and reproducing. According to the narrative of my life, I have been successful in both pursuits thus far. The biological organism has no need for the mind as thought, other than the fulfilment of these two basic functions. Without thought the body is just a corpse, thought is necessary only on this level. By super imposing unnecessary thoughts such as logic, morality, psychological and spiritual meanings against the design of the body, this is what was has created conflict in not only ourselves but in our societies and cultures. This has resulted in the complicated and destructive neurosis of modern day humanity.

Humanity as an existence of animal nature, prides itself on how much pain the body can take before it breaks. This collective suicidal celebration is how we perceive ourselves to be and how we project our sadistic ignorance upon each other. The constant push and pull of going against Nature reveals itself not only in our own lives but in the lives of all those around us. It is a train of thought that only leads to one destination, death, the return of the body to be recycled by Nature, in turn to creating another body. Instead of embracing our carnal and selfish needs we are programmed to pursue a fictitious opposite which only causes sorrow, suffering and misery. As we are taught to emphasize only one side of reality, we create an unnecessary distortion on the totality of what reality truly is.

By living in accordance with Natures design we can see that the necessary violence in life is that we must kill in order to live, one form of life thrives upon another but we condemn killing and instead we kill ourselves. We project an illusion of compassion and kindness but we create and continuously feed societies based upon greed and corruption. We impose the violence of charity, as we hoard, taking more than what we need just to give to those who have none. This sickness will eventually end, as do all stages in Natures design but as we are cognizant creatures of Nature we possess the ability to use our thoughts to either enable what we are or to continue going against Nature and indeed we will destroy ourselves in the process.

The Invitation is an offering, a conscious choice to live, to enjoy, to flow in the immaculate and incomprehensible beauty of Natures design. As I have come to this realization, this is what I share, accept it or reject it, this is nothing more than Invitation to discover and honour yourself as you truly are. Life or death, this is your choice. ~ ༺ 𝓖

Fallen but never forgotten

I knew I wanted something more but I didn’t know exactly what I wanted. How often it is that we find ourselves trapped in one of these moments. I know that I couldn’t just shy away from my pain but then on the other hand I was afraid to confront what was growing deep within me.

The pain that I had experienced in my life has moulded who I am. There is no denying that fact. When I look around I can see, I can feel that there is something missing, that is there something more. What is this feeling? This constant sense of displacement, of not feeling comfortable wherever I go. There are moments when everything seems to be perfect, yet somehow my mind comes into play and projects a focus that something needs to be changed.

There is a constant pushing and pulling of my responsibilities and the prescribed duties that I am bound to fulfill. I do my best to please everyone whom I am surrounded with but in the end I am always compromising my boundaries. How can I find a balance in a world that is so chaotic? How can I stop denying myself the potential to truly discover something great within me?

These questions arouse my desire to find something that seems to be lost or at least hidden. When I observe myself, I see weakness, I see a fraction of what I could become. How do I get to where I want to be? What is the right path for me? Despite my yearning to satiate these never ending inquiries, to no avail the answers end up disappearing back into another question. Even when I sit in silence my mind carelessly floats away on the next cloud of thought. Then again I am fixed in nothing more than my vivid imaginations. I see myself in a world of my own creation yet I am faced with the unforgiving duality of living in a world of which I can only project this image upon.

Intellectually I feel satisfied in knowing that there is something much more than just what I can see with my eyes. I can understand that there is an inherent truth which connects everyone and everything. My mind can accept this concept on the most fundamental level. It is only when I look out to the world, I still can’t see through my own heart. What is this sense of perpetual refusal? Why do I find it so difficult to accept myself as I am?

“With every step up towards the sky I got closer and closer to the tip top of the tree, where the branches were the weakest. There was always a point in which I was afraid to go further but still I continued to climb.”

I remember when I was a little boy I would climb the highest tree that I could find. As I climbed every branch I trusted that it would hold me, that it would not break. With every step up towards the sky I got closer and closer to the tip top of the tree, where the branches were the weakest. There was always a point in which I was afraid to go further but still I continued to climb. Standing tall on the little branch I held tight to the branches on the top of the tree, overlooking a vast expanse as far my eyes could see. The wind swayed the tree back and forth as I was encapsulated in the feeling of being totally free.

There was this underlying sense of uncertainty in which I knew at any moment the branch could break, and if I did it would send me falling to the ground beneath. Then without cause suddenly I heard a crack. I could feel my little arms flailing about to find a branch to grab and catch my fall. In the midst of my quick descent I reached out, into the blurry mirage of cascading branches and somehow unbeknownst to me I grabbed one. I held tight, I held that branch so tight and I lifted myself up. I was shaken, my heart was beating fast and my arms were marked with the scratches of the branches that seared against my flesh. I was both surprised and shocked, my fear was strong but my courage was much stronger. Composing myself I continued down the tree but this time with an even greater sense of respect and appreciation.

When my feet finally hit the ground I knew I was home. I felt alive. I looked back up to the top of the tree and this time I could feel a new connection to this tree. I now had the scars to prove my pain and suffering but I also had the experience to see myself in a way that I have never seen before. I gave myself the freedom to discover something more. Despite the uncomfortable confrontation of facing my fears, I had become elevated in this direct knowing.

Reminiscent of this experience I used this as a catalyst to recognize once again that I am much more than I imagine myself to be. In the convention of thought, I contemplated on this moment of past learning. With a newly invigorated determination I continued to move forward on my path to awakening and it was in this reflection that the words spontaneously arose, “Everything is already within me, for what I am seeking is nothing other than myself.” ~ ༺ 𝓖

You need not take a single step

As a seeker we are led to follow a path, to take steps, one after the other until we finally arrive at our destination, the realization of our True Nature.

Through the annals of recorded history there have been several predecessors that have shared their own path to the fulfillment of their destiny. From Buddha and the sacrifice he made in leaving his family, to Krishna and the sacrifice he made in destroying his cousins on the battle of Kurukshetra and to Jesus and the sacrifice that he made in sharing the message of awakening which ultimately led to his crucifixion.

These examples and many more are merely mythological interpretations of what can and what has arisen as one takes the path less traveled, the path within to discover the unknown. Currently we do not exist in a world that enables our path to awakening, on the contraire we are taught and conditioned to believe in something other than ourselves. Consequently this results in creating further separation and unnecessary distinctions which only exist as a hindrance to the sincere seeker.

From being indoctrinated with illusory belief systems, to identifying with specific schools of thoughts or attaching ourselves to a distinct collection of social ideologies, these limitations only transpire as a means to prevent the inevitable from arising. While they can serve as a catalyst for deeper introspection more often than not they are a confrontation that must be transcended and sacrificed if our ends are to be justified by our means.

In my own experience, I was raised as a Protestant Christian under the strict and unforgiving guise of a jealous god that had absolutely no hesitation in condemning my existence and actions. Fearful and inferior, I felt the wrathful convictions of an imaginary entity that observed my every thought and deed, whether intended in the pursuit of worship or in sin. This perverse and abusive concept was my one and only obstruction. Conclusively as I furthered along my path I was confronted with this inner resistance to heed no more, for the territory that I was about to encroach upon was perceived to be the sin of all sins.

To let go, to go against everything that I was conditioned to believe, to make the ultimate sacrifice in the pursuit of my awakening. I asked myself, “How far was I willing go to manifest my desire into fruition?”

"And then the moment came when I completely stepped out of it ― I realized that there is no end and indeed there never was a beginning."

And so as it was written, in the conflagration of the Supreme, in the burning embers of All That Is, I threw everything I had ever known into the fire of the Absolute and never looked back. This was my defining moment, the most challenging boundary that I had ever faced in my life. Either I was going to make it or I was going to make it, there was no other choice to be made because now I have nothing else to fall back upon.

Steadfast and persistent in my appropriation, I made every movement forward. While some steps were taken more lightly than others, there was never a moment where I questioned my attempt any longer. Absent from the infringement of doubt and all needs for certainty, every intention was taken and given in the recognition of what I knew was to come. I was seeking without, looking for what I was in the external, accumulating and integrating, applying all that was revealed in the alignment of my course.

What I was looking for wasn’t described in a book, it wasn’t scribed in some ancient text or even prattled about upon the tongue of a wise old sage. I was looking for something that couldn’t be seen or conceived from the vantage of the limited mind, but no matter where I looked, despite my discrimination in searching far and wide, I could not find myself. The intellectual faculties were reached in only confusion and paradoxical contradictions. I was left to my own device, and despite the reference of where I had been and where I was now, every step I had taken seemed to have led me to nowhere.

In silent contemplation I sat until spontaneously the question arose, “I knew that what I was seeking was also seeking me but how do I get there, and where exactly is there?”

The desired expectation of what was to come enabled my devout pursuit but I also knew that it imposed the opportunity for the something else to be manifest. Articulate in the playful prose of several expressions, everything seemed to be poetic in nature, everything was pointing to it but still it couldn’t be comprehended. And so I dropped the books, I forgot the memorized verses that were acquired, regurgitated in a fashion of consistent repetition, describing everything that couldn’t be described, yet I was still framed in the convention of words alone.

As I was destined to proceed, it was understood that I must make a different approach. That which led me to this perspective will also lead me to my destination. Furthermore I went, discarding various potentials that were incompetent to my intention I was waiting for a moment of extraordinary repercussion, but no big bang ever came. It was so close that I could taste it, I could fell it surging through my entire being, but everywhere I looked, it was no where to be found.

Then suddenly, I froze. I couldn’t move. I was paralyzed, the engine was all out of gas, the wheels were stuck in the mud and my train of perpetual thought was at a complete standstill. The moment came when I had to stop, the search was gone, there was no where to go because there was no one there to go anywhere.

And that was moment when I completely stepped out of it, that was the moment when I realized the timeless and immovable, that was the moment when I realized that there is no end and indeed there never was a beginning. That moment is Now. ~ ༺ 𝓖

The Divinity of Destruction

What happens when you cease doubting yourself and you start giving yourself the freedom to be everything that you could ever imagine?

It was in the seeking of this answer that I was compelled to start my own path to liberation, a path that would have consequences both beneficial and unfavourable. As it was my destiny, the realization of my True Nature came gradually and then suddenly without any cause for hesitation. Despite having no external reflection to impart this wisdom or provide guidance of equal measure, I took a devout investigation into finding the Source of whoever or whatever I am.

In one of the many principles of self-inquiry there is prescribed method of negating everything that you are not, listing and categorizing a perpetual series of actions, labels and the like while immediately refusing the limitations they impose upon your essence of Being. As soon as it is given any context, it is immediately discarded. Naturally, this process can be a playful endeavour for the mind as the Nature of the mind is to create distinction and separation where none exists. While this analytical perspective may be advantageous to seekers with a more intellectual pathology, the primary intention of this process is predicated on the basis that you must first accept the fact that you are something and then invariably you will arrive at the shattering conclusion that indeed you are nothing.

In the infancy of my investigation I was challenged by my conditioned beliefs and ideologies. Objectively I could see that my egoic identity was trapped by the convictions of my rational and logical mindset, the constrained vantage through I which perceived myself to be was not only self-defeating but it was perverse in its core. With no alternatives given in accordance to the existing society or cultural involvement, I came to the understanding that the choices of which I had taken to be mine, were in fact not mine at all. The psychological ramifications of being raised from a child to an adult in a society and culture that is motivated only by the need to acquire material possessions and seek an agreed perception of value allocated as currency was something that I could not accept. I was confronted with the fact that I was conditioned to be nothing more than a commodity to perpetuate a system that was designed to continue its existence at any cost, even at the sacrifice of my own well being.

I asked for it, I was seeking it but when I was faced with it, I dared not look at it. Citing the cognitive dissonance in my mind, the entire foundation of my identity was built upon a mountainous series of fabrications that were as far from the Truth that you could ever go. From the identifications to my biological structure, my gender role in society and the predetermined placement of my position in social relations, I was just a cog in a machine. While my false identity was being enabled in every instance, I was also enabling the false identities of all those existing in my surrounding. The absurdity of this creation became apparent, but the extent to finding a way out of it was dismal.

“Coming to this crossroad, I had to be honest with myself — do I want the Truth more than anything, what would I be willing to do to get the Truth and when the moment came when the Truth was presented, would I accept it or reject it?”

As my underlying conditioned mind was revealed to be an intricately woven web of mistaken identifications, misconstrued concepts and unchallenged answers to existential questions that I never had the opportunity to ask before they were given, I took to dismantling every subjective interpretation of my self-identity. Given the assumed risk that I was re-programming my mind, I knew that from this point on I couldn’t go back and so I proceeded to make every movement forward. In the metaphor of computing technology I was replacing my operating system with an upgraded version. I couldn’t erase the entire history of my conditioned mind because this would result in the absence of any continuity and the understanding that I have come to realize at this point. Eradicating the unnecessary I started with forging, a stable and strong foundation to re-create myself in the image through which I was compelled, driven no longer by the bondage of insecurities and fears but now with the inexhaustible desire to fulfill my highest excitements.

Choosing ascension over complacency, I started to “redefine” myself and this manipulated the filtered projection through which I perceived existence. In the integration of a new perspective, now I could see the futility in capturing an expression of life within the framework of a dead structure. Rather than conforming to an idealized system through which I had no choice in the participation or creation of, now with a solid basis of comparison I enabled the potential to embrace the uniqueness through which I functioned. Our existing societies have their roles of distinction which reward and merit those who continuously give value to it. Indefinable by every measure I no longer took vested interest in being validated socially or otherwise and in doing so I reclaimed my power, giving myself the liberty to create an existence absent of all imposed values, ideologies or beliefs.

Entering a new territory of expansion and imagination, apart from the laws of relativity, there were no longer any limitations in what I could do or could become. In this clarity of vision, I acted in alignment to manifesting my thoughts into my reality, however absurd or mundane, I created the necessary experiences to evolve and expand. The blank canvas was ready to be painted and with the freedom to create whatever I desired, I put paint to brush and brush to canvas. Once restricted to colouring in the lines, now I painted with the encouragement to discover the uncharted and unknown. The process of destruction became a process of creation, of renewal through death. Utilizing the boons of these timeless attributes I integrated their essence and applied them in every step that I watched myself take.

After several decades of living in the cage of conformity I set out into the world to express myself without the need for explanation or acceptance. And instead of finding the answer to my initial question, the absence of the mind was acknowledged, the apperception of the immovable was accepted and conversely the necessity for the question ceaselessly disappeared. This was the end of suffering and the beginning of living life awakened. ~ ༺ 𝓖