Compassionate communication in relationships

The bedrock foundation for all relationships is communication. The ability in which you can express your emotions and thoughts with yourself is reflected in the ability through which you can express your emotions and thoughts with your partner.

Whether in the throws of passionate lovemaking or in the midst of an aggressive argument, the clarity through which you can convey yourself and the ability for you to actively listen, these will be the determining factors in the outcome of every experience. Fundamentally, we learn about ourselves from our society, culture and the influences of those who we share our lives with. We learn how to act by our parents, the guiding example for which we forge the foundation of our life principles. If the parent(s) are good communicators, then naturally the child will be a good communicator.

Through experience and intuition we can understand how we function and why we function the way in which we do. As we all come into this world with a blank slate, a tabula rasa, the conditions through which are exposed to become the building blocks for how we create our lives. In the many stories through which we are surrounded, we acquire that which is unique to us based upon our individual preferences.

As a young child I was raised by a single mother, this experience shaped the perspectives through which I see women and myself in their companionship. While I wasn’t exposed to the daily life of a loving couple I attracted this knowledge from the parents of my friends and that of the skewed perspective related to media, such as movies, books and television. As the former influences can be less than realistic, they still presented a viable example to what potentials may arise in the representation of a cohesive partnership.

As we see life from the selective narrative of our story, as it naturally arises we are bound to be in conflict with ourselves and our partner. As there is no specific template which answers all the questions that may arise in our sharing, being aware can greatly enhance the quality of coming to a solution with in disagreement. Conscious communication, when taken from the heart rather than the mind in both listening and speaking is absolutely beneficial to growing and evolving in a partnership. As some outcomes may be justified in their own right alone, others may need the appropriate space and time to be concluded.

When we as an individual take the initiative to consciously be in a relationship, we make this agreement with every moment, with every shared word, every breath, with the very essence of our being. As we grow into ourselves and with each other, it is important to question our motives with true sincerity, “Am I reflecting or am I projecting?” The answer felt silently within needs not be vocalized, but alas it serves as a constant reminded to what we are consciously bringing to share with each other.

Being triggered in a relationship is a natural part of the process, perhaps it is an old unresolved wound, a feeling of lack or even a memory reminiscent of a special meaning, as we become vulnerable to each other these areas which we keep hidden from most will be revealed and in the effulgence of light, and of recognition and total acceptance we can rise within ourselves. In my experiences of life, there is nothing that stimulates growth like that of being in a relationship.

As there are many paths to awakening, the path of walking in solitude, and the path of walking with a partner, despite any compassionate attempts to carry another, we must always walk of our own accord. Being able to encourage and support one another on the spiritual path is advantageous but trying to fill the voids within each other will only create more obstructions and suffering.

In my first spiritual relationship my partner knew more than I, although I was already introduced to the concept of meditation and several labels used in spirituality, I lacked the true understanding of the path to awakening. It was obvious that we were at two different levels of awareness, I felt as though I was just crawling while my partner was walking about but with her support and encouragement in a few months time I was on my own two feet and we were walking together. And so it is, per the fulfillment of our destiny, we grew apart as our paths took us to opposite sides of the world but regardless of the separation we remained grateful and appreciate of what we had experienced together.

In the world that you exist in, it may difficult to find like-minded individuals and the necessary support so that you can start and continue on your path. Being in a partnership that holds the same values and intentions to assist you as awaken to your True Nature individually and collectively is absolutely indescribable. The ability to share new revelations, profound insights and a myriad of feelings as you rise higher and higher within yourself will not only accelerate your own path but also the path of your partner.

At times there will be moments when you are walking close together and then there may be moments when gaps are needed, where the observance of space and time for solitude is honoured. As you are open to explore and experiment, you can share in the many methods that are used as a catalyst to awakening, from active physical meditations, to silence and verbal discussions.

If you have a local Yoga community that infuses meditation with their practice or if you have the opportunity to participate in satsang, (the noble company of Truth), these are great potentials to embrace the path of your relationship and to communicate with other beings that are on the same path. Be mindful that not all Yoga and meditation groups facilitate the intention to awaken to your True Nature, using your intuition and doing appropriate research, you will find the places and beings which best suit you and your relationship.

As you continue on your path with experience, trial and error, you will bring a greater clarity within yourself, seeing yourself as new and fresh in every moment, and with this perspective you can see yourself through the eyes of your partner, communicating from the silence of the heart and communicating from the awareness of the mind, this is where you can truly meet each other, this is when you can truly see each other, not as a separate individual but as a reflection of one self. ~ ༺ 𝓖 ༻